Forgotten blessings...

Today I had a massive selfish moment.  I had a great day, but as soon as things were not going as I had planned, I started to complain, bicker, and feel sorry for myself.  I realized what I was doing, and felt awful.  I was being selfish about the smallest things...I wanted to do what I wanted, and I wanted everyone to go along with it.  How rude of me!?  I took a step back and started to think...for years I was in a relationship with a man that was incredibly selfish.  I gave all I had, and received little in return.  It crushed me...I lost myself due to giving my all.  I was acting just like him.  I cannot imagine crushing someone by being the one that takes and takes and never gives anything in return.  I do not want to be a person that complains when things do not go the way that I want them to go.  I want to be thankful for all of the things that I do have regardless of if they are, or are not how I wanted them. 

Every day I take tons of things for granted.  I often sit at my desk, stare at my computer screen, and wish that I were some place other than work.  Do I think about the thousands of people that are unemployed?  No.  I selfishly think of myself.  I check my bank account and cringe at the "small" number in my checking account...I don't think of people who are homeless and starving and without any money.  Once again I become that selfish person. 

I often get frustrated because something on my car messes up, or the dog gets the floor dirty, or I cannot find the shoes that I want to wear that day, or my water bill is higher than I expected...how can I allow myself to get so frustrated when I have everything that I "need" to survive?  I have a home to go to every day, two jobs that pay my bills, food in my kitchen, clothes on my back (and more and more clothes in my clothing "room"), a family that is constantly loving me, friends that are there for me, a boyfriend that adores me, two furbabies that greet me at the door with excitement when I come home, a niece and nephew that think I hung the moon, two legs, two arms, two eyes to see with, two ears to hear with, great health, and more!  I am extremely blessed.  Looking at all of these things why be selfish?

Often times everyone gets stuck in the "why me" stage.  It is only human to ask "why".  When I get to the "why" stage, I want to be able to instantly think about all of the things that I am blessed with.  Yes, things are going to happen that are going to make the road of life bumpy...I could keep asking, "why me?", or I could ask myself how I can grow from this situation.  I could always say to myself that yes, things are bad or not as I planned, but that things could be worse...things could always be worse.  Looking at the positive side of things and not being selfish is not always easy to do, but if I make the habit of seeing good, or what can be good, or what is not so bad, then I will grow to a stronger, loving lady.

 After thinking about all of this, I wanted to find a quote to fit how I felt...this is what I found:

"Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it."

How true...I might be selfish, I might want to throw a pity party, I might not deserve anyone's love due to my selfishness, but love me anyway...the love of others will brighten that light deep inside that has gone dim...